And the Recommendation Is...

Wow! What a day it has been today and all I can say is "Thank you, Jesus!" On our way to the visit with Dora's mom today I thought I was going to explode. I was so incredibly stressed that she was going to know the department's recommendation and I wasn't and honestly afraid of being with her! I was fearful of Dora's response to her and anxious that I didn't know what the social worker was recommending. I cried a few hundred tears on the way to Richmond and prayed just as much! Told God how fearful I was and told Him how much I didn't want to be afraid and I wanted to give my fear over to Him.

This passage has been my lifeline for the past seven months.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all [d]comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [e]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [f]dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

Philippians 4:6-9

I've disciplined myself to catch thoughts of worry, anxiety and fear and redirect them to those things listed in vs. 8-9. It is a DISCIPLINE! It is NOT easy but it is definitely worth the effort! I have steeled myself with God's Word. Spent thousands and thousands of hours in prayer and it was all for a day like today and tomorrow. I've known that these two days were going to be what made me or break me and this afternoon I thought I was going to break. But my mom prayed with me as I was driving to Richmond and I continued to pray. Prayed for the visit. Prayed for the hearing. Prayed for Dora and prayed for mom. By the time I got to Richmond I was exhausted but at peace and greeted mom with a smile and we chatted easily as we looked at pictures of the girls that I brought for her. I wasn't done talking with her by the time the social worker (yet another one whom we've never met!) came to grab them for their visit. I wanted more. There was more I wanted to say and God gave me that opportunity after the visit. She came out with the social worker who told me Dora wouldn't let her mom check her diaper so I should check it and then commented on how much better it went with me. (Silent Cheers!) Then mom boldly and confidently asked me if I could give her a ride and as I put the girls in their carseats she asked if we were hungry. Not hungry one bit. We ate at COSTCO before leaving and I was full! BUT, we went anyway and we visited while she and the girls ate. The girls by now were so tired they were in their crazy state of mind and while happy weren't as well behaved as I would have liked, but it didn't matter! We were able to talk about her childhood. Find out that she's really Thai and her adopted parents are Laotian. They had that backwards! She moved to the US when she was 1. She asked me how old I was and I found out she's 26. She really did have her first baby at 12 and he's now 13. She now has a good relationship with her parents, a plan for transition and continued outpatient care. All the while I'm thinking we don't have a chance! She's so confident she's getting her back! But then we got to the conversation that needed to happen. The one where we talked about what would happen with our relationships with Dora Dora after the hearing. She told me that she would stay in contact and even let Dora come for overnight visits and when we were in the car I told her that tomorrow I knew she was going to be rooting to get her back but that we also we rooting that she'd stay. NOT that she would be taken from her mom (because she already is) but that we want her to stay a part of our family. I told her we'd keep her in Dora's life and we'd want to keep in contact. I've been saying that since shortly after we met though so it wasn't news to her. We left on good terms saying we'd see each other in the morning. Very comfortable despite the potential awkwardness of that conversation.

I kind of left that lunch feeling like she was going to get her back, but I had a few clues that everything wasn't going as well as she had wanted. She was complaining quite a bit about the program she was in holding her back and them finding the smallest things to purposely hold her back (kind of sounds like a GOOD program to me!) but that she had secured transitional housing and had a PLAN. Uh oh I'm thinking.

Well by now I'm confident we're going to hit MAJOR traffic and pay the penalty for staying later with mom and I'm complaining to my friend who is on her way to my house. Dana reminded me to put on worship music and focus on God and that's exactly what I did. SOOO thankful for people in my life that help me stay on track! Traffic wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and by the time we got to Pittsburg I called my mom to tell her about our visit. While we were talking I got THE phone call. The ONE that was causing my anxiety. The ONE that I was afraid mom would get and I wouldn't! I got on the phone and the social worker told me THAT THE DEPARTMENT WOULD BE RECOMMENDING TERMINATION AND MOVING FORWARD WITH ADOPTION!!!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!! God is sooo good! I don't know what I expected but it was relief. That's what I felt. I held it together long enough to finish the conversation and call my mom back and tell her the news. God is so good! He is hearing our prayers and answering them!

Tomorrow the courts still have to agree with the recommendation (which they did not do last time) and then it would move forward to termination. BUT there could be a contest hearing if mom chooses to contest. And once that is over THEN they'll schedule a 2-6 hearing or a termination hearing. Once that happens she has 30 days to appeal and then they can terminate. God is moving here people. This is no coincidence! Mom IS doing well. Please warriors keep praying! God is mighty and at work and I'm looking forward to what is to come!

Pray:

The judge rules in agreement with the departments's decision

Mom chooses NOT to contest it after today

Peace for mom tomorrow because I don't know if she'll know the news by then or not. She failed to call the social worker at the appointed time and thus might have missed her opportunity to know.

Pray for her and my relationship tomorrow. That I would be loving and encouraging to her. And that she would just feel confident herself that our home is where Dora should be. That has been my prayer of seven months that SHE would CHOOSE this for Dora herself. Tomorrow is her opportunity to do that. I honestly love her and feel compassion for her. I want to win her for Christ!

Please pray for traffic. That we would get there in plenty of time without stress and have time to pray with our support group prior to the hearing.

Love to you all. Our GOD is ANSWERING out PRAYERS!!!

**Tonight 8:30*** we'll be praying!