So this visit went pretty well. I know it must be weird for her to come in and see her child bonded to other people more than her but she is pretty sweet all things considered. They had their visit then we went in and did the party together and they ended the visit together. This visit was different than the others. When Dora came out she came RUNNING to me and Cinderella with BIG OL' smiles!!! When we got to the visitation room she was all over me, calling me "Mama". Looking to me for everything which was really affirming for me. We had a lot of good conversation. I found out how Dora was named Dora! It was a name her dad came up with to mix the two of their names. I also found out that the information was told about her other kids was inaccurate. She has a 13 year old son and a 9 year old daughter and then Dora. We were able to look at pictures on my phone from camping and talk about her speech development. My only frustration is that we were so micromanaged by the social worker stand in. I'm really struggling with her because she doesn't know us or the case and yet she is involving herself WAY more than I would like and I know she writes up reports about the visits coming from a skewed perspective and I feel like I have no alli where before I felt like Monica and I were on the same team. It makes matters worse that I still haven't met her new social worker and it's been almost two months!!! So I haven't been able to really check in with someone else to make sure that things are going as they're supposed to. It is just all happening SOOO different than it was before and it's really unsettling to me. I guess I probably need to call MY social worker next week and bounce things off of her because I'm feeling bulldozed around by this lady. She didn't let me talk to the mom on my own so I never got to apologize to her for my insensitive comment - though I hope bringing in a party shows her we value her and want her to be a part of our life long-term if we adopt Dora. She even told me I needed to loosen Dora's carseat straps when the mom buckled her in which according to the current recommendations are barely tight enough! I could almost pinch them! Sigh. I felt really insulted.
One of the conversations that we had revolved around Cinderella’s and our relationship with her biological family/family of origin. It was great to be able to talk about what a great relationship we have with her and that we see her fairly regularly and I was able to communicate how important it is to me that our kids keep their ties to their first family. I think even though it probably made her a little uncomfortable it was good for her to hear and good for me to know that she knows. Overall I'm really glad for the time together today even though I didn't want to be there.
Plus I just got a call from Dora's social worker setting up an appointment for a visit on wednesday morning. I know I'll feel a lot better having talked with her!
Well... I'm sure I could have written this better but I'm so tired!!! Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and support!
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