I'm so glad you're here! This is our story. God has lead us to adoption to build our family and here you will find my real and raw experiences with joys and triumphs as well as struggles and sadness. I hope you're encouraged by our story of God's faithfulness and His love for us!

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Well.. here we go again!

Lots has happened since the last time I decided to sit down and blog. Once things we finalized with Dora's adoption I wasn't sure what direction to go with my posts so I just stopped. Well.. here we are just over a year later and we've been placed with Dora's sister who was 4 months old at the time. I had known that BM (birth mom) was pregnant before things with Dora were even finalized and I prayed for the baby throughout the pregnancy. I prayed that BM would do well. I prayed that she would stay clean. I prayed for health and safety for them and I prayed for both of their salvation. I wasn't sure she was using in the beginning and then her behavior on social media started reflecting behavior that was consistent with drug use and I started praying that God would bring us the baby once the baby was born. I prayed for them both once I knew that the baby, Bug as I call her, was born and it wasn't long after that BM announced on social media that she was going into a treatment program. I assumed that meant that Bug would go into foster care and that we would get a phone call asking us to take her. THREE months went by before I heard anything from CFS (children and family services) and I had been praying about what I should do during that time. It was oh so tempting to call them and demand placement since we have the sibling. It was oh so tempting to force this placement to happen. But as I prayed about it was I convinced that if God wanted us together than He would bring her in His timing and I was at peace with that. I waited patiently in hope that we would get the phone call but I determined to trust the Lord with this situation.
When we got the initial phone call it wasn't a placement call. It was an inquiry call to see if we would want to take her and of course we said yes! It was over a month later that we received the placement call. And then we had licensing issues to resolve before we could move her in. But on June 28th we finally got to bring her home. We had seen her a couple times before but this day was the first day that she was ours alone. As I took the time to bond with her I didn't even remember that we still had a long process ahead of us or that there were risks. To me it has always been "God has given me this baby. He'll see it through to the end." There are times, like whenever I talk to the Social Worker, that I falter and become scared. But I can honestly say that for 14 months I have been at peace. Yesterday was one of those days when I went to bat with the social worker over visitation and his unwillingness to take into account past history and protect the baby and I got off the phone and sobbed. From a humanly perspective I SHOULD fear. The SW is fighting hard to get them back together. But then after I gush my fears the truth that fills my heart is that my God loves me. He desires the best for me and that He is always faithful.
Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens,
Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Psalm 36:5
You see, I really don't need to worry because the God of heaven's armies is fighting for me! He is the one who puts rulers on their throne. Including this judge who is responsible to decide what happens next.
Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever,
For wisdom and power belong to Him.
It is He who changes the times and the epochs
He removes kings and establishes kings;
He gives wisdom to wise men
And knowledge to men of understanding.
It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things;
He knows what is in the darkness
And the light dwells with Him.
Daniel 2:19-22

He has already gone before me because the judge that we got, from what we have heard, is one of the best. I just about cried when I heard who the judge was and I DID cry when I found out that her lawyer is the same lawyer that we had with Dora. These are the things that help me to physically see God working and fuel my faith. I don't need them to believe that God is working. They are a blessing and a gift. A rainbow of promise to me. I serve a good and faithful God! There are SO many verses that encourage my heart when my heart is discouraged like it was yesterday. 

So, I'm glad that things didn't go well on the phone with the SW yesterday because it reminded me that I can't feel comfortable and that I need to be rallying the prayer warriors like I did with Dora's adoption. Will you please join our family in prayer?

Here are a few things that you can specifically be praying for.
1. For peace to guard our hearts
2. For the court date to be postponed until January
3. For the courts to grant us de facto parent status at 4 or 5 months into  placement so that we have the right to be in the court room and to have legal representation if necessary.