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I'm so glad you're here! This is our story. God has lead us to adoption to build our family and here you will find my real and raw experiences with joys and triumphs as well as struggles and sadness. I hope you're encouraged by our story of God's faithfulness and His love for us!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

God works all things for good!

Today was the big day! Dora is officially living with us now! I'm so relieved. It has been really taxing to coordinate with the foster mom and get over there to pick her up and/or drop her off every day. I'll be so relieved to wake up and not be in a rush each morning to get out of the house to pick her up! And not only the extra business of all that, but also to get into a routine. The more she's here the easier it's getting. We've finally mastered naptime... I think. Yesterday I was losing it trying to figure out why both Cinderella AND Dora weren't sleeping but then I put a couple blankets up to cover the window and like magic Dora slept! Whew! I'm convinced that she needs to go back to two naps a day. I think with all the extra stimulation she's getting from living with us she needs the extra time for her brain to rest and digest. I'm thankful that she was able to take two naps today and I'm looking forward to the one on one time with Cinderella each day. I think it will be good for Cinderella. She's been my biggest challenge this week. People keep telling me it's normal for the other child to act out, but it just grieves my spirit to see my beloved child acting so sinful. Kerry told me today that her wise sister said that when your kids start acting out to love on them more and spend more time with them. So, I started working really hard to respond with love and affection EVEN when she deserves discipline. It's a hard balance for me and I'm sure I'm making so many mistakes along the way, but responding with love and understanding and following that with discipline seems to be helping. Not gonna lie though - it's tough when Cinderella's been down right defiant or just plain mean. I'm really thankful that God is patient with me when I'm down right defiant towards Him and that He loves me despite my own sinful behavior so I need to find it in myself to be Christ to my daughter, even when I have to say the same thing over and over and it just doesn't seem to make an impact. Such are the joys and challenges of parenthood :) I know I'm not the first, nor will I be the last to struggle with these things.

Dora is so happy! She seems to be the happiest when we are home and she's especially happy in the evening after dinner. I guess this morning she knew I would be coming to get her. I normally get her around 8, but this morning was more flexible so it was more like 8:45 and I guess for about a half an hour before I came Dora was waiting at the door for me. She was so happy to see me and so excited to go. Then when we got in the car she looked at Cinderella and she got a HUGE smile on her face! It is obvious to me that she's happy in our family. She started giving more kisses today and she loves being kissed, snuggled and tickled. Cinderella has had to give her hugs and kisses when she's apologizing for something and Dora is even responding to Cinderella’s affection now with big smiles. At first she got really upset and pushed her away, so even though they are in this constant power struggle over toys and mom they are developing a nice bond.

Tomorrow the SW comes to visit with us and for us to sign the placement papers! The foster mom told me that she expects that we'll have two more 2-6 hearings (the hearing to terminate rights) before we're done with the court process, but I'm praying that something unexpected happens and we're done on the 20th. I guess Dora has been slated for adoption from the beginning and that the day the FM picked her up she got her directly from the court. The judge couldn't even wait till the hearing was over before calling in care for her. She said that the diaper bag she was given had more drug paraphanilia than baby stuff. I have the disgusting bag sitting in my car now. I don't want it, but she said to hold on to it in case we have to give it back. yuck!

I'm just so grieved for the things that Dora experienced (including a chemical burn from cooking meth down her stomach) before she came into care. But, I can't waste too much time thinking and worrying about it because all those terrible things that happened to her are the very things that brought her to me and so in a way I'm thankful for them. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

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