Mother's Day. I remember all too well the years where Mother's Day was a day that I dreaded more than any other day in the year. It was just a cruel reminder that we didn't have what I most desperately wanted. A child. I'd walk into church on Mother's Day morning with my game face on wishing I was anywhere but there and suck it up as all the mother's and expectant mothers were recognized. A day of agony. Gut wrenching, stick a knife and twist it in my heart AGONY! I'm not going to say that I'm completely over all my infertility issues. I've worked through most of them and most of the time I don't even remember. I have two children now and I'm not looking back wishing they had come to me differently. But I do remember the agony, the tears, the sorrow, the innumerable times that I sat there willing my tears to stay put. Biting my lip. Doing anything I could to distract myself from the welling up inside. Sometimes I couldn't hold them back and I would find an excuse to excuse myself and I was thankful for those discerning enough to see my pain and reach out to me. If you're reading this and you're that person who is dreading tomorrow. I've been there. I know your pain and all I can say is that God is my healer. Turn to Him in your pain and He will make you whole again. He can turn your sorrow into joy and give you the desires of your heart if you earnestly seek him first. He has for me! He has turned my empty home into one that is full and thriving. He has seen me through my pain and healed my heart and He can do that for you. He had a different plan for me. One that most of the world sees as second best but that I see simply as God's best for me. My life is a journey of faith. It's one where the plans are always changing until that child comes home. It's one full of raw emotion and joy. I love this verse...
"He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the Lord!" Ps. 113:9
He has given me the desire of my heart and not only that, He's changed my heart. I started this journey of adoption on a selfish path. I wanted a child. I see it differently now. I still want children. But now I see the children as needing to be rescued and needing a family more than I see myself. My heart for family-less children if far bigger than my ability to parent them all! God cares about the millions of orphans worldwide that are waiting for families or that simply will never have families for one reason or another.
I've been bugged recently when I see advertisements for PET ADOPTIONS. I can't help but think of the hundreds of thousands, millions even spent taking care of a finding homes for animals in our country. ANIMALS! While we're out there fighting for the animals and saving the animals, who's fighting for the millions of children who don't have families. Who's saving THEM? Saving them doesn't mean the foster care system, group homes or orphanages. It means forever families! Let me tell you that the need FAR EXCEEDS the people who are willing! So, are you going to fight for an animal or a human being who needs a family? Are you going to put your money towards saving an animal or a human? There's plenty of organizations like Show Hope where you can give monthly to help other people adopt if you don't feel called to adopt. There's Compassion International where you can give to FEED A CHILD! Seriously, people. Priorities! CHILDREN come first! We are the ones created in the image of God Himself. We are the ones that He loved enough to send His son to die for. He loves animals. They are His creation too, but it really irks me that people can find money to give to ASPCA but they can't help a fellow human being!
Ok.. so that's my soap box for the day. This weekend if you are suffering from infertility I'm praying for you. I know what it's like to suffer in silence. Hang in there and see if you can find it in your heart to adopt. If the only thing stopping you is finances. Don't let that stop you. I've watched God provide miraculously for many families who are seeking to adopt. Why wouldn't He? He talks about taking care of the orphans some 40 times in the Bible! He commanded us to take care of the orphans and widows. so why wouldn't He provide the way? Plus, adopting from foster care is free anyway. There's always hope in the future. I'm living proof of a life redeemed. I am joyful this weekend because of the children whom God has blessed me with through other women. I am joyful because He heard my cry and He answered!
looking forward to the day when I can freely post pictures!
Definitely remembering the woman who made me a mommy this weekend!
Love you Rachel!