Naptimes are for Mommies :)

Whew... what a week! Tonight is our third night with Dora. Nights are going great. Naps... not so much. I'm one tired mama. Don't kids know that naptimes are just as important to mommies as they are to them? Today I really needed that naptime but in the end it just didn't happen and we went to the park instead. I think tomorrow we'll try naps in separate rooms.

We had speech again today, this time Cinderella was able to come with us. I'm so over it. I know, it's only two weeks in! I am just having a really hard time figuring out how it is benefiting Dora right now. I'm not saying I'm against speech therapy at all. I just don't see her benefiting at all from the classes at this moment. In fact going from no structure to a highly structured classroom she's getting frustrated. I think next week when we meet with her social worker to sign the placement papers (the papers saying that she is officially becoming out foster child - not adoption papers) I'm going to broach holding off for a little while so that I can work with her and prepare her for that kind of environment. In the short amount of time that she's been with us she's learned at least five words and I have a pretty good track record of getting non-verbal kids to speak and sing in my years of teaching through music. Of course I want what's best for her and if her SW says go, we'll go. I just really believe that what she needs more than anything is encouragement to speak and the example of her big sister.

So, between picking up Dora, taking Dora to speech, taking Cinderella to the doctor because she was wheezing all day (can you believe I called first thing this morning and we couldn't get in till 4!!!!!), and no nap, today has been kind of a stressful day. Thankfully, Cinderella is doing fine. She wasn't officially diagnosed with asthma, but she was given an inhaler, I think more for my peace of mind than anything. It was really tough watching her coughing and wheezing for so many hours. I'm so glad she's doing better and sleeping peacefully.

Tomorrow we're going to head to the zoo with the girls. Thank you so much to everyone who contributed to the carseat and double stroller! I don't even know who everyone is yet, but I thank you all so much!!! We took the stroller out on a walk to the park and Dora was giggling with glee for the first 10 minutes! Both girls enjoyed it and I loved watching them next to each other. They're sooo cute!!! Anyway, back to the zoo... I'm hoping it will help get Dora excited about animals so that she's eager to look at pictures of animals and to try saying their names and making animal sounds. Plus, we just have so much fun being outside and experiencing the world with our family! She really seems to thrive outside and with one on one interaction. I just love her smile and her little sense of humor!

One load of laundry left to fold and just waiting for the cheesecake to come out of the oven before heading to bed. Awww... bed...

Transition Woes

Just left Dora at the FM's house. SOOO sad!!! She would start walking away and come to me with arms wide open wanting to be held and then as I started heading to the door she came running after me holding on to my leg and screaming. Praying the social worker is willing to just let her stay after the weekend. I have a call into her. Waiting to hear back... My heart is so sad to see her confused and sad :(

Sisterly love

Today was our longest period of time with Dora to date. I picked her up this morning at 8am and she's here till tomorrow morning. At some point in the morning I have to take her home. :( But, she's with us all weekend! Yay!

This morning I had to take Dora to her hearing test. I guess they were trying to rule out that her speech delay doesn't have anything to do with her hearing. I knew she didn't have any hearing problems, but we went anyway. It was no easy feat! The FM and I both weren't thinking about the fact that I was going to need her mediCal card for the appointment and the FM had a busy morning! She was picking up twin three week old babies in Walnut Creek. We decided that it was best for me to just meet her there to get the card and then go straight from there to the CEID center in Berekley. Well, FM was 35 minutes late but we got there ALMOST on time! I think we were 5 minutes late. So this morning was crazy!

The messes my girls make are just crazy. I feel like I just can't keep up! Even though I do ask them to clean up as they go, they're still faster than I can keep up with and in moments the mess is out again. I think I may give up and clean up at nap and bedtime. It doesn't seem like Dora's been asked to clean up before, but she's doing a great job of contributing to the clean up. I wasn't really able to make a dent until Bryan woke up and helped me. My two hands to their four were just out numbered! Once we got it cleaned up it was much easier to keep up on and have them clean up. I'm pretty sure EVERY toy was on the floor from this morning when I was getting ready!

Cinderella is so sweet. I just love her! This morning Dora wanted to go out on our little balcony. She was starting to throw a fit and Cinderella was trying to help her open the door to go out. Well, by that time Dora was in a pretty good tizzy and pushed Cinderella in her tantrum. Cinderella didn't miss a beat. She said something like "Dora, you just pushed me when I was just trying to open the door for you!" She said it in the sweetest, most patient voice. **sigh** I just love her! Then in the car we were on our way to lunch and I had given them a small snack to hold them over and again Dora was starting to throw a fit and Cinderella says "No Sister, that's all you get!" again in a sweet voice. She seems to understand that Dora is special and part of our family now and she's so loving most of the time. They both have their moments and Cinderella just wants Dora to be comfortable and do all the things that she does. But Dora hasn't been raised in our family and she's doing SO good! The worst fits I've seen from her pale in comparison to some of Cinderella's over the years. They are very short lived and she seems to be correctable and she has a desire to please. I love her too!

I'm excited for the weekend! Placement is coming soon!

Transition Continues

The girls did great their first night sharing a room! They were both sleeping soundly this morning when I went in to transfer them to the car. When we got to the FM's house she smiled at the FM but again didn't reach for her or anything.

We have a bi-day today, no Dora. As much as we miss having her around it was nice to get things done that have been waiting to be done. Like, pull out Cinderella's clothes from last summer for Dora. She's definitely not lacking in clothing! I think there's enough there for two kids!

I thought I was going to have the morning and afternoon to kind of recoup before having her again overnight, but I got a call this afternoon asking me to take Dora to her SEID appointment where they're testing her hearing. I guess because of her speech delay they want to check it. I doubt there is any major issue because she can hear and respond when spoken to. It will be interesting for sure. Two children two and under, no double stroller yet...

The FM is ready for Dora to just move over here, but I'm really trying to make it through another work week (Tuesday afternoon) if possible. I'm just not ready for a sub at all. Things are so overwhelming right now for me. I'm beyond exhausted and I go crazy just thinking of preparing to be out of work for three weeks. There are so many details to be worked out it is crazy. With Cinderella I had 8 months to prepare for Cinderella's arrival and going out on maternity and with Dora I barely even have 8 days and the majority of that time is being spent focusing on her, not the tasks I need to accomplish! I'm just taking it one moment at a time and praying that it will all work out.

I'm just ready for the transition to be over and to settle into a new normal!

Dora's First Night in our Home!

Dora's spending the night! The FM has been weird all day. We were texting back and forth all day about what the visitation plan was for the week. Her story changed a bunch of times. I don't know if she just wasn't really paying attention or what, but I was left feeling really confused. Then I went to take Dora "home" today and she said she was out to dinner and that we could keep her till 8. It WAS 8???? Did she mean 9???? Nope. 8am! Well. I have to be at work no later than 7:30, but I'm still dropping her off in the morning before work. I think the FM sees how well Dora's doing and really just wants to get her here permanently. I NEVER thought it would be like this and I think we are just blessed that it's not dragging on.

Cinderella's doing really good. Of course she wants EVERY toy that Dora has. I don't really blame her. It would be hard to share all your toys with someone else! Overall she is doing a great job of sharing not just her toys but her parents, her room, her clothes, etc. I'm so proud of her!

I'm pretty sure Cinderella's asleep. Dora keeps getting quiet and then she babbles bit and then gets quiet again. She's doing GREAT! God has been so good to us in this process! Tomorrow morning's going to be CRAZY getting two children to two places in a very limited amount of time. I'm so thankful they're both close by!

I think it's quiet back there :) I think we have two sleeping children! Yay for tomorrow being my last work day of the week! Possibly for a few weeks!

Thanks everyone for following us in our journey. It really means a lot to me to have all of you guys support us in our journey. We are so blessed to have so many wonderful family members and friends in our life!

First Day of Work

Thanks to everyone who was praying for me this morning. I made it to work ON time with no stress at all! God is so good! Praising God for His strength and mercies that are new every morning!

Becoming a family of four

Today was a great day in the Hart house. Church was amazing, just what we needed today. God is just so good to us! His Word never grows old or stagnant and it ministers to my soul. It was an extra great day since Jon and Dana were with us. I just love ALL our friends!

Anyway, Dora came over after nap today. It broke my heart when she started crying when I took her from her FM. She had just woken up from her nap and I think she was disoriented and didn't remember who I was. She cried for all of probably 15 seconds, but it felt like forever. It was a hard moment for both the FM and me. She was fine by the time we got to the car and I took my time before getting her in the car. Once we got home she was a little more clingy than normal. She was STARVING and ate a snack while cuddling with me. :) Dora helped me make a batch of brownies and she had a blast! She didn't want stop stirring or eating! It brought such joy to my heart to see her enjoy helping me like Cinderella does. When the brownies were done we went back to snacking and cuddling. It was nice to have some one on one time with Dora without Cinderella and I enjoy the moments with Cinderella without Dora too! So, Cinderella was still asleep when I got home with Dora and once Cinderella woke up chill cuddle time was over and fun play took over. We played inside and then went outside to walk around, ride bikes, power wheels, push shopping cars and strollers... spy on the neighbor's dog. Dora LOVES dogs all of a sudden. When she first came she was afraid of Chloe, but I think since she learned to say the word "Dog" she likes dogs a lot. I think she's just really proud of herself and we're really proud of her too!

When I dropped her off it was the best moment of the day. Weird, right? Here's why. Previously when I've taken her "home" she's been really excited to see the FM smiling, happy, reaching for her. Tonight, she was NOT pleased to see the FM, not upset, just not happy. She wasn't anxious to get down or settle in to "home." I said bye to her and started heading to the door and she lets out a big grunt and came running to me with her arms wide open. She wanted to come with me and was sad I was leaving! This transition time is going to be painful... The FM is pushing to get her placed ASAP because she doesn't want to go on too long with her being confused about what and where home is and who's mom. I honestly think she'd be fine to just move in, but only the social worker can make the call. I plan to call her Tuesday. She's out of the office until then. We'll see what she has to say. I'm sure a visit in our home is going to take place soon...

I'm super tired. I've always thought it was extra tiring to watch kids on someone else's schedule and I'm anxious to see what we settle into a new family of four!